Top Ten Reasons why it's great to be a Vampire:
10. You never, but never, are at a risk for skin cancer.
9. Two words: Bloody Marys.
8. Remember that dilapidated castle you inherited back in the 1700s?
You can sell that bad boy for a cool $10 million these days.
7. Instead of rushing out and buying new clothes every time there's a
change in fashion, you can just wait for your old stuff to come back
into style.
6. Chicks dig the fangs.
5. You can take "bite me" literally.
4. No matter what anyone says, satin-lined coffins are cheaper, more
comfortable, and last longer than those stupid Craftmatic
Adjustables......
3. Generally outliving the hell out of everyone
2. You can get revenge on your enemies by turning into a bat and
dropping loads of guano into their convertables.
1. Great bumper sticker for the hearse: "Life Sucks, But So Do
I".
Top Ten Reasons why it's lousy to be a vampire
10. When you wake up, your hair is always the same shape as the top of
your coffin.....
9. Early evening blood breath, that Listerine just won't get rid
of.
8. Your dentist insists on filing down "those outsize canines"
7. The Goth crowd you hang out with doesn't think you're that cool
after a couple of weeks......
6. You never get a chance to cash in at all-you-can-eat overnight
buffets.
5. Your mortal S.O.'s get upset when all you want to do is
neck.
4. You smell musty
3. You tend to embarrass yourself when you try to turn into a bat
and you end up transforming into a Louisville Slugger.
2. You keep tripping over your cape.
1. Let's face it, you suck.
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