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"Wrestling in the Middle of Nowhere...I mean Norway!"

"Road Report: Volume 13" (Maine Event Wrestling-2/14/03)

by J-Guru

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Well that's the case. It is a frigid Valentines Friday and with all the romance in my heart, I decide I'm going to attend MEW (Maine Event Wrestling) in Nowhere, I mean Norway, ME. Now keep in mind that my partner in crime, J-Winger, did not attend the previous MEW event that I had sat through in December so this was a chance for him to see them for the first time. Where do I start on this feature, how about the beginning with us driving to Norway, Maine.   Now who in the blue hell thought it was a good idea to book a wrestling event in Norway?! This town is in the middle of the boonies and was an amazingly poor choice of venues. So we arrive at the National Guard Armory just in time for the start of the event. The ring announcer asks everyone to stand for the playing of the national anthem and everyone starts turning in place and looking around, including the ring announcer, because there was no flag!!! Imagine a room of 40 people (capacity crowd huh?) all spinning around in different directions looking for a flag while listening to a CD playing the national anthem. This is a sure sign of exactly how bad a night we are in for. Next, the ring announcer calls for a moment of silence for the tragic and untimely death of Mr. Perfect Curt Henning. Next comes the start of the show and the introduction of "The King of the Indys" Reckless Youth. Hold on a second! Not to take anything away from Reckless Youth, but I'm pretty sure Christopher Daniel's and his MANY fans might have something to say about the title "King of the Indys". Reckless enters the ring and announces that his opponent, Lighting Mike Quackenbush, will not be competing due to a knee injury suffered at the hands of Reckless, who then orders a ten bell salute to the end of Quackenbush's career. WHOA! Your gonna' tell me that Curt Henning's death doesn't get a 10 ring salute but a Kayfabe injury does? My god, there hasn't been a match yet and I'm stunned at how screwed up this promotion operates! National Anthem with no flag, a snub of a wrestling legend, and ripping off the label of the most recognized indy wrestler in the world, all in a matter of 5 minutes!

Onto the matches themselves with the opener, Reckless Youth taking on Adam Hastey. Solid match up with some solid moves out of Hastey. In fact, my one comment was, "Has he been training?" Hastey seemed to be fresher then usual and matched up well with the technically sound Youth. However, once again Hastey goes for that finisher off the top rope and, sure enough, later that night he can be seen walking gingerly on that leg. Every damn time! I've said it once and Ill say it again GET A NEW FINISHER! Might I recommend the Garvin Stomp? Youth of course worked well through the entire match and draws good heel heat, however it is of an elementary type. He calls the crowd ugly and says people in ME are stupid, blah blah blah. It's like damn kindergarten wrestling. I hope I get to see Reckless someday in a serious promotion because the man can seriously work. Youth taking the win.

Next up was Rocco Rosseli against Trailer Park trash. Well, that's enough about that mess. This was followed by Matt Lindsey against Freakin' Legion Cage. I have to admit that I was very interested in seeing this match because I still have not had the opportunity to make it to a Rampage Wrestling event to see these guys. Truth of the matter is they represented their home promotion well as it came off as match of the night. Solid all around with Lindsey showing some great athleticism as well as selling his opponent really well, while Cage dominated with superior technical lock ups and a great heel character. Cage taking the win by pinfall.

Next up we have Smart Bart Sawyer taking on Parts Unknown (Larry Huntley under a hood). All I have to say is, Bart Sawyer looks like a short, ridden hard put away wet Roddy Piper. Sawyer comes off as a stooge saying "Life is good, because that's the way its supposed to be" while wearing a smiley face on his ass. Maybe the character would play off in a promotion with a more serious style, but his stooge persona gets lost in a sea of stooges here in MEW. Sawyer takes the win. This is followed by Frankie Aramdillo against Robbie Ellis. I really have to say I don't know if the average wrestling fan can digest Robbie Ellis but I dig him the most! This guy takes great bumps, is a tremendous heel, and is entertaining as hell. He had me laughing the whole time. Aramdillo took the win.

Now we have what started out as a good chain match between Grand Akuma and Matt Lindsey but quickly became clumsy and a match without rhythm. To answer your question, yes we have already seen Matt Lindsey tonight. Don't forget that all of MEW's events are TV taping's for their Midnight Madness show, whose most entertaining moments are the public service announcements for Colon Polyps. After this show, I wish I had colon polyps. As each event is a TV taping, we are unfortunate enough to see bad work more then once in a night. Speaking of seeing the same guys twice in a night, here comes Robbie Ellis against Smart Bart Sawyer. 1.) Robbie Ellis rules!, 2.) Is Bart Sawyer drunk?, 3.) Robbie Ellis rules. Sawyer got the win and Ellis then immediately stood up and said "I won", at which point Sawyer rolled him up for a second 3-count. This continued back and forth 5 times!! Once this concluded and the crowd sat in silence, I casually and politely shouted, "This is the worse shit I've ever seen", and even the ring announcer started laughing.

Adam Booker came to the ring to cut a promo, since he is out of action with an injured wrist. On a serious note, we wish Adam a quick and full recovery from the injury as he is one of New England's best workers and he is missed in a number of promotions. On another serious note, Adam, when cutting a promo about Chi Chi Cruz kidnapping your girlfriend, make sure she isn't in the doorway watching you!!!!

Alight, let me wrap this up for you because most of this isn't worth writing about. There were several other matches all featuring the same guys we had already seen which lead up to the final match of the night, John Rosseli (Johnny Heartbreaker) against Matt Lindsey in his 4th match of the night. The crowd was laughing and so was Lindsey. It was so ridiculous that he was coming out for the 4th time. In addition, we saw Robbie Ellis 3 times, but did I mention Robbie Rules!

Let me make this loud and clear folks. Maine Event Wrestling is over. I really dogged them in my previous report and I'm almost at a loss for words on this one. The quality of matches was poor, the booking of matches was ridiculous, and the creative work is deplorable. You book in the middle of nowhere, you draw no crowd at all, much of the talent is lackluster and needs training, and the match ups were devoid of heat and true competitive nature. This organization is not worth the drive (2 hours in our case), the money, or the time it took out of my life. Once again, the fans were simply props that didn't matter just as long as the TV tapping were filmed, and let me tell you the few shows I've watched on Thurday at midnight look pretty damn silly with 12 people in the crowd. I have already heard that the following show in Waterville drew a significant crowd (although, X-Pac no-showed surprise surprise), but keep in mind that everyone that attended the December show in Waterville received comp-tickets to this one. But to be honest even with free tickets, I would not attend again and maybe with this kind of publicity that's a good thing for MEW. You know that sign at the shallow end of the pool that says "Danger- Do Not dive", well here is the warning for MEW "CRAP- Do Not Attend".

Created By
J-Winger & J-Guru